< Order of Avalon > : Part Three

So after slaying the dragon and saving the day, you're set on another adventure. You have some sort of nightmare, wake up in the forest (not naked!) and then figure you have to go ask someone about your [ strange dream ]. So of course, you wander into the village where the snooty girl who was too good to talk to you, is suddenly interested because you've killed a big lizard at least once... and she apparently knows something about your strange dream.

Then she sends you running around a little bit to meet some mysterious guy in the forest where you woke up. He just magically appears, so you gotta wonder if he wasn't there all along, watching you sleep... like a creeper.



So Fiona (I think is what her name was) sends you to chase after Lady Guinevere (the Sadist) and you literally chase this woman around until you finally catch up to her and she gives you a quest to go back into the Catacombs to seek out her boyfriend, Sir Lancelot (the other Sadist).



Sir Lancelot sends you into a tunnel, which leads you to a sewer pipe, which then takes you into the ROOM OF HELL as I like to call it.



In this room, you then have to figure out how to jump on the little ledges to get to the slightly bigger ledge, to get to the room in order to grab a feather. Then you go back outside...



You have to charge up Lady Guinevere's tear by letting the siren fondle it. Then you summon the Lady Sadist and hop on stones to reach her. But adventurer beware, if you land in the water at ALL you have to start over, and of course, go back and let the Siren fondle the crystal again.



But if you do it while she's singing, it doesn't power up, so you have to wait till she shuts up before you do it. The tear plays another part later on too so you may want to spend some time getting more than one.



When you finally at long last get the amulet from the good Lady Guinevere, that's when you take the feather and tickle open Lumina's portal to be sucked into a place that I like to call OH GAWD IT BURNS MY EYES because it's super bright up there.



Once you have the amulet, they send you after the dragon gauntlet. But not before you have to seek out a fire fairy who will BURN YOUR FREAKING FACE OFF if you touch her while she's flapping beside you. To get to the bloody dragon gauntlet you have to turn into a midget, learn how to run in slow motion, jump on tiny, tiny rope-like ledges and then after screaming every profanity you can think of at the screen, reach the back room.



I took a moment to admire the handy-work of the villains in the story because you know... drow priest and all on the INSIDE.



Once the dragon gauntlet is in hand, it's time to pay the dragon another visit so he can BURN YOUR FACE OFF, and oh yeah, so you can catch a fireball with your shiny gauntlet. KER-PLOW!



Another jumping challenge. Which, let me tell you... BAD JUMPING, BAD! More profanities. When you slip and fall off you break your neck and have to start over.



Until you make it to the top! OH YEAH!



Feeling proud of myself, I run to tell the RANGER, (creeper) that I have the staff, only to have him shot to death by invisible archers. I'd loot the body if I could, but I'm an ass like that.



Then it's time to put on the Harry Potter glasses and seek out the sorcerer's st-- I mean, Lumina's Rose.



It took me a couple of tries to get past the giant spider who kept BITING MY FACE OFF. I finally figured out , after going back and talking to the chick in the village that he likes to nom on chickens.



Of course she won't let you have any of her chickens, so you have to find one that isn't so happy and fat and free.



Getting to the Necronomicon isn't as easy as one would think. There's plenty more opportunities along the way to get your FACE BURNED OFF.



But I did manage to get it!



Then I go and unlock the second portal ... and discover!! Dun dun dun... the encounter isn't finished yet and I should come back later. HAHAHAHA. So for now, my journey in Avalon is done, but I'm helping Midare, Tess and Nef get theirs done. Or I will be....

And then I'll be out to search and see what else is out there.